The Only One


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More often than not, we humans have a tendency to compare our position and circumstances to those around us. Also, taking into consideration the fact that the grass always seems to be greener on the other side, whenever we face a tough situation or a setback, thoughts like- “This is not what I deserve!” or “The world is just too harsh upon me”-instantaneously flash in our mind. The era of self pity thus begins; the mind starts to ponder upon how unfair the world is. Consequently, as a step to allay that grievance, we become soft on ourselves. Efforts die down, and the ship to destination dream is pushed back by a self-created wind.

This is one of the greatest ironies that exist in human life. We dream to reach the stars and aim to be just the tallest among the grove. Our efforts, our determination are all focused on achieving our “aim”, though, in our heads, we think that we are working on the greater goal. We even expect to actually touch the star. Disappointment, then, seems quite inevitable. This in turn prompts self-pity, and we end up being caught in its vicious cycle. We forget that there are many others stuck in the same scenario.

Whenever we self-pity, our focus unconsciously shifts from working to wailing.  All the time that could actually have been utilized to better the situation is wasted on fussing upon it. Self-pity is like an analgesic-it soothes the pain, but numbs the nerves from taking action. The moment the self-pity triggers, a “perceived limit” is set. And that kills our true potential.

As grave as the obstacle may appear, it can actually be molded to function as our greatest strength.

Looking beyond the grove we live in, we will soon realize that there are millions out there waging tougher wars every day- the disabled trying to live a normal life; the cancer patients fighting off the disease with all their might; the single mom working to her last limits just to ensure a good life for her child. There are numerous examples.  Some readily accept their defeat; others are not a bit daunted by it. They accept what comes their way, remove it or make the best use of it. Without a single utter of complain. They toil every moment, every day, not even stopping to give a thought to the injustice of fate. They eventually manage to reach their desired destination.

Even in the grove, there might be people who are silently handling much more difficult situations. We need to stop gauging our hard-work in relative terms, and clear out the notion that we alone are subjected to hard times.  Let our ideals set the standards. A setback implies that the bar must be raised. The extra mile must be done. If we are dreaming about stars, we need to aim for the stars as well.

So, the next time, when the devil self-pity creeps us our back, all we have to remember are those inspiring examples.

As Evanescence puts it right, “You know you’re not the only one.

This blog post is inspired by


32 thoughts on “The Only One

  1. A setback implies that the bar must be raised. :):)
    Motivation at its best :):)

  2. Thank you very much dear.

    Today you touched my soul, in the most tender and sensitive corner, of my existence. Dear let me tell you I am a vicious fighter to the core, I am extremely tough when it comes to my will, I may stand alone against all odds, all my life of 52 yrs I am thinking that of my self and have lived accordingly.

    But dear now is the real time to face and to walk on the edge of a sword to test everything I have maintained throughout my life, now is the actual test of my patience and strength both.

    Let us see if it passes the test or not.

    Thank you very much dear for an extraordinary post
    Most heartfelt thanks to you dear Payal Niharika.
    Oh you are an Indian, lovely i am an Indian too
    from Mumbai.

    very very nice meeting you dear

  3. “Self-pity is like an analgesic-it soothes the pain…”

    So true. I see so many people wallowing in their self-pity, wearing it on their sleeve for the world to see. For them, it is an addiction and they crave the drama it gives them. They become a martyr for whatever injustice has befallen them of late. It almost seems like, without it, they would cease to exist. These people make me sad for they are stuck in a vicious circle of their own making, bringing down whoever is naive enough to feel they can help.

    Nice post.

  4. I love this. My mom always said the only one that shows up to a pity-party is you. It’s true. I love your blog and your photo. Awesome share!

  5. Thank you ever so much for the follow. I hope you will enjoy my little blog. Namaste. . . .Anne

    I will enjoy your blog as i love your heart! Namaste. . .Anne

  6. Very inspiring….i’m glad i passed by. And thanks for visiting my site and following. Really appreciate it.

  7. Nicely written Miss Payal….Thanks for the visit !!…Good Luck with your work

  8. Miss Niharika!!!
    Amazing post 🙂

  9. Thank you so much for the blog following, delighted to be following your blog also. Clarabelle

  10. “This is one of the greatest ironies that exist in human life. We dream to reach the stars and aim to be just the tallest among the grove.”

    Love these lines ans so true!

    “Self-pity is like an analgesic-it soothes the pain, but numbs the nerves from taking action. The moment the self-pity triggers, a “perceived limit” is set. And that kills our true potential.”

    have been a victim of this prey a few times in life..self pity has the potential to suck all energies and logic out of your system..

    • Thank you Deepa 🙂
      I guess we all have suffered from self-pity….it just comes up unconsciously and lays waste to everything we have gathers. And somehow, we always feed it with more reproaches….

  11. Thank you! I have been pondering the barriers of the disabled a bit more of late. I am an ‘able-bodied’ disabled by having a stage iv cancer diagnosis. We are encouraged, I think, to see ourselves as different, better perhaps. It is a very false divide that limits our collective voice. Anyway, I appreciate your musing.
    warmly, marcy

    • Thank you Marcy 🙂
      On second thoughts, yes, I think we should not create these false borders. I went through your post, and it is really inspiring to see you take such a staunch stand 🙂

  12. I am glad you told me about this blog. I am enjoying myself. And believe me your writing suits my taste. 🙂

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